Heart, We Will Forget Him
I walked casually into class alongside Marc Saruti. He’s cute, but not really my type. Although he’s not really getting the hint because he keeps asking for my phone number. I smile casually and tell him maybe someday before sitting next to Liz in English. We start talking about work and this weekend when for some reason I feel a need to look at the door. It’s him, Michael Guerin, the boy that holds my heart so that I can’t give it to Marc. I hate him and yet I love him at the same time.
It’s been two weeks since school started and this summer was the worst. Liz and Alex like to refer to it as “The Summer of Destiny”. I think they’re crazy. But I suppose that is what it was. It was the summer that our little alien pals decided they needed to follow destiny and… mate with their… mates. Personally seeing Isabel and Michael together is the sickest thing, but I deal, because I’m “Teflon”.
Anyway he sinks into a desk a few rows away from mine and I turn back to Liz.
“Look who decided to come to class.” I snicker, seeing as how Michael rarely shows up.
“Who knew Michael knew where the English room was.” Alex jokes, as he sits with us. It’s pretty freaky because all eight of us are in this English class. I remember the first day Liz, Alex, and I walked in to find Kyle. We migrated towards him, because he’s become a part of our little “I Know An Alien” club over the past few months.
After that our alien friends came in together, and sat together, and pretty much refused to talk to anyone. Ok, that’s not fair. Max, my new girlfriend, tried to talk to Liz, but she ignored him. She’s holding strong to this destiny thing and that Max should be with Tess. Tess is still trying to win Max’s heart, but it’ll never happen. He’s in love with Liz and always will be.
Michael and Isabel on the other hand are trying the relationship thing. I wonder how that’s going for her. Anyway, I’m totally getting off subject. So all eight of us are in class together and we try our best to avoid any conflicts. It’s just so much easier pretending they don’t exist than having to deal with our feelings for them.
Kyle finally gets to class and takes his seat on the other side of me. “DeLuca, your Mom spent the night at my house last night.” He says to me, shoving his book bag under his seat.
“Eww Valenti, why do you tell me these things. Sick.” I reply.
“I just thought you should know, in case they start staying over at your place, which I wish they would.”
“Kyle, for real, that is so gross.” My Mom and Jim Valenti are quite the little couple and let me tell you, it’s disgusting. I swear they are going to get married and when they do, I don’t know how Kyle and I will survive.
“Class.” Mrs. Harrison says, trying to get our attention. We all quiet down and prepare ourselves for a long boring lecture over American Poetry.
* * *
“This assignment sucks.” I say as I go to fill drink orders for table 9.
“It’s not that bad Maria.” Liz tells me.
“Ok, we have to find a poem that represents us and then read it in front of the class. That’s a little too open for me.” I tell her.
Liz smiles and I go serve table 9 their drinks when the familiar ring of the door turns my attention to our arriving customers. And who should it be but my four favorite aliens. Oh and look they’re sitting in my section. Grand.
“Why do they have to come here?” I ask Liz when I get back behind the counter.
“I don’t know Maria.” She says.
“Wanna take them for me?” I ask, knowing she’ll say no.
“I took them yesterday Maria.” Liz responds. Damnit.
I grab my pad and pen and fake a smile. “Well I’m off. Get the arsenic ready for Michael’s drink.” I tell her. Inside joke.
“Welcome to the CrashDown, I’m Maria and I’ll be your server today. Can I start you off with some drinks?” I have played the role of waitress to perfection. They may piss me off, but work is not the time to settle these problems.
“I’ll have Cherry Coke.” Max says.
“Me too.” Tess is just too annoying.
“I’ll have water.” Isabel says, not looking at me.
“Just regular Coke for me.” Michael says, pulling Isabel a little closer. Bastard.
“I’ll have that right out for you.” I turn on my heel and briskly get away from the scene. He only does that shit to upset me. I hate him.
“2 Cherry Cokes, 1 water, and 1 Coke.” I tell Liz. “I gotta go to the bathroom cover me.”
Liz obliges and I step into the ladies room and lock the door. I look in the mirror and take deep breaths. You can do this DeLuca, I tell myself. I have an image of Michael and Isabel looking at each other so lovingly and I feel the tears well up in my eyes and I do my best to force them away. I will not let him have that satisfaction. After another calming breath, I exit the bathroom.
I see that Liz has delivered their drinks and I go to ask her if she took their order. She tells me no so I get out my pad and pen and start to head over to them. I stop dead in my tracks to see Michael and Isabel locked in a kiss. I drop my pad and pen and they make a noise as they hit the ground. They break the kiss and Michael just looks at me with this look. I can’t do this anymore. I run out through the back and to my car, not caring that I made a scene. I’m losing it.
I sit inside my Jetta for awhile, just crying. Seeing Michael with Isabel kills me. I try to be strong and not let anyone see my pain, but I can’t anymore. I love him. I’m head over heels in love with Michael Guerin, there’s no denying it anymore. A flash of them kissing rushes through my mind. “Why, why why?” I scream, slamming my hands on the steering wheel. Why do I have to feel like this? Why does he have to have this stupid destiny. Why can’t he love me?
“Maria?” I hear knocking on my window. I sniffle and look out to see Michael.
“Go away.” I cry.
“I want to talk.” Now he wants to talk, that’s fitting.
“Go to hell Michael.”
“Maria.” He says in that tone. You know that tone that is like half warning me to listen to him, and half annoyed at me.
“I said go away!” I start my car and Michael still doesn’t get the hint.
“Maria, please?” He asks. Yeah right. I speed away, leaving Michael Guerin in the dust. It’s time to start over.
* * *
I walk into English, and again Marc Saruti is hot on my trail. What is it about this guy? He can’t take no for an answer!
I just sit down in my seat and wait for my friends. Marc plants himself behind me. Great. Then I hear someone sit next to me and I look, hoping to see Liz. Nope, it’s Michael. I face the front of the room and sigh in frustration. It’s going to be a long day.
“Maria.” Michael says, trying to get my attention. I ignore him. “Maria, I need to talk to you.” I turn around in my seat and start talking to Marc. I hope Michael is getting jealous.
“Hey Marc.” I say, still trying to ignore Michael. “You know, I changed my mind. I’d love to go out with you tonight.”
“Great.” Marc says. “I’ll pick you up at 8?” He asks.
“Sounds great.” I flash a flirtatious smile and write my phone number down on his hand. “Just in case you need it.” I say.
He smiles back at me and I turn around in my seat, facing the board again. Maybe Michael will get the hint now.
“Maria.” Nope.
“What?” I snap.
“I need to talk to you.”
“That’s great, I don’t care.” I wish he’d just leave me alone.
“Maria, please meet me in the eraser room after class.” Is he kidding.
“Yeah right!” I snicker. “You wish Buddy. Why don’t you ask Isabel?” I can’t believe him sometimes.
“Maria…” He starts, but Kyle sits down so I turn my attention to him.
“Did my Mom stay at your place last night?” I ask.
Kyle’s eyes get really wide. “I thought they stayed at your place.”
“Ew.” We both say at the same time.
“Class.” Mrs. Harrison is ready to start class. “Today we are going to be reading our poems aloud. Any volunteers to go first?” She asks. Naturally no one raises their hand. I’m willing to bet that half the kids in class don’t even have a poem.
“Miss DeLuca… would you like to go first?” Mrs. Harrison asks.
“No.” I say, smiling.
“Now Maria.” Mrs. Harrison orders.
I reluctantly trudge up to the podium with my poem in my hand. This is so embarrassing.
“Just give us the title and author and then begin.” Mrs. Harrison tells me. I sigh and look down at my paper, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone in the room.
“Heart We Will Forget Him, by Emily Dickenson.” I say. Here goes nothing. “Heart we will forget him, you and I tonight. You’ll forget the warmth he gave, and I’ll forget the light. When you have done pray tell me, so I may straight begin. Haste, lest while you are lagging, I remember him!” I look at Mrs. Harrison and she’s got a smile on her face.
“Very good Miss DeLuca. You may have a seat.” I go back to my seat and refuse to look at Michael. In fact, I refuse to look at anyone. I just bury my head in my arms and try to sleep the rest of the class.
* * *
The rest of English was fairly uneventful, and I was right when I bet that half the class didn’t have the assignment done. As soon as the bell rings I bolt out of the room, but I feel Michael behind me.
“Maria!” He calls. I pretend to ignore him and try to walk faster, but he’s caught up to me already. “We need to talk.”
“No, we don’t.” I say, trying to keep walking. He grabs my arm and pulls me into the closest janitors closet.
“Maria.” He says in a whisper. He pulls me into his arms and kisses me gently on the lips. It feels so good to be in his arms, kissing him again. After a few seconds of kissing, I remember that we are not together. I shove him away.
“Stop.” I say. “We aren’t doing this.”
“Maria, I… I’m sorry. I broke things off with Isabel last night, I can’t be with her. It’s you, it’s you I want.” He tells me, and I believe him. But it doesn’t matter now. He leans in to kiss me again, but I stop him.
“No.” I say firmly. “We can’t keep doing this.”
“Doing what?” He asks, his face shows signs of frustration.
“This Yo-Yo thing that we do! It’s ridiculous. One minute you want to be with me, the next you have to be a “stonewall” I can’t do this Michael.” My heart is breaking into a thousand pieces right now.
“I love you Michael, you’ve always known that, but we need some time apart. You need to decide what it is you really want.”
“I want you.” He tells me. Stop making this so hard!
“Today, but tomorrow you’ll want something else. I can’t keep letting you break my heart. It’s over Michael.” I don’t want it to be, but it has to be.
“Maria… I’m sorry.” He says.
“It’s too late.” I open the door and sigh. “Goodbye Michael.” I shut the door behind me as I leave and head towards my locker. I grab my books and start towards 2nd period when I catch a glimpse of Michael in the hall. He looks sad, as he talks to Max, Isabel, and Tess.
He catches my eye and I flash him a sad, apologetic smile. He acknowledges me with a nod and I continue on to class. This is the way it has to be, I tell myself. I take a seat in History and get out my notes. I think about everything Michael and I have been through in the past year, and I whisper quietly to myself, “heart we will forget him”
The End!
